Most Likely to Succeed

In the spirit of high school graduations and inspired by Platooned's Red Sox humor (hat tip to Beth), here are your Class of 2005 superlatives:

Most likely to be mistakenly arrested for a felony...	David Wells
Most likely to appear in Napoleon Dynamite II...	Mark Bellhorn
Most likely to enlist in the Marines...	Mike Timlin
Most likely to run for president...	Curt Schilling
Most likely to manage in the bigs...	Jason Varitek
Most likely to have a second career as a bartender...	Doug Mirabelli
Most likely to oversleep and miss his own Cooperstown induction...	Manny Ramirez
Most likely to appear onstage with Jeff Foxworthy...	Kevin Millar
Most likely to retire to Italy...	Johnny Damon

Feel free to add your own!