Cairo Reporter: Disclosed Location

It pays to have attractive and flirtatious girls in one's group overseas. Aside from the obvious benefits, you might just discover Dick Cheney's undisclosed location! As you know, he was on a Middle East tour last week, and when I arrived in Cairo on the 13th, those who were already there informed us that Dick Cheney was in the Marriot, where our group was headquartered! This was no secret: the place was infested with secret servicemen, and there was added security, etc. Anyway, the girls became friends with one of the hotel staff, Khaled, and I think one or two of them jokingly agreed to marry him, or something like that. For his part, Khaled disclosed the undisclosable: Dick Cheney's room number: 1118. If I disappear tomorrow, y'all know why.