Love's Labours Lost

I will take a break from my studying to transcribe a tragic tale of romance... oh wait, I haven't even started studying yet...

One of my friends, let's call him "Z", goes to a Christian college, and is himself a devout and devoted believer. He's never had a girlfriend, to my knowledge, but it's not for lack of trying.

All you college guys know how it is - you try and make sure you sit near the girl you best like in each class, and there's nobody more disappointed than the 5 guys who get assigned to a study group together. I've had classmates ask to be switched out of a group because it's all-male. Also, I was considered lucky this quarter - I was in 2 groups, in both of which I was the only guy. But I digress. So anyway, Z is sitting next to the girl who has caught his eye, and is fortunate enough to be assigned to a study group with her! He immediately takes charge, collecting from each group member the times they can and can't meet. He schedules the first meeting for a time when all the group members have class, except for himself and Her!! They find (to her surprise, if not his) that they are the only ones at the meeting, so they do their studying and whatever, but I suspect that Z did not have his mind on the work. He got her phone number, for study purposes, of course, and called her later that night.

She didn't answer the phone, so Z left a message. He informed her that so-and-so was having a campfire that night, and that he was going, and was wondering if she was planning to. I guess he must have had conscience pangs, or something told him that wasn't quite right. So he called her back, and left another message. "What I meant to say was, I'd like to invite you to the campfire." That still wasn't good enough, Z's panicking mind decided, so he called and left a third message, this time saying, "What I really mean is, I want you to go to the campfire with me."

So, Z goes to this campfire. And he's standing towards the back, glancing around for her every 8 or 9 seconds, though it feels like a lifetime. It starts, and she's not there. Glance. Glance. She's 15 minutes late now! Glance. Maybe she's not coming. Glance. Now she's half an hour late. Glance. There's still hope, she can't not come at all. Glance. Glance. It's over. Glance. Glance. Still not here.

Z goes back to his dorm, but decides that though he may have lost that battle but he hasn't lost the war! Women like to be pursued, that's right. Z won't give up now. Maybe she just had too much homework. Hey, his motives were pure, he wasn't hitting on her, just honestly trying to start a relationship. Monday in class she doesn't sit next to him. Another battle lost. That afternoon, after standing in front of the mirror, turning over every possible scenario in his mind, and chewing his nails down to the bone, he steels himself up to go to her room. Trying desperately to keep his famous cool, or at least the appearance of it, he climbs the stairs and starts down the hall to her dorm. As he passes the common room he thinks that he caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of his eye. Stopping uncertainly, he doubles back, trying to seem nonchalant as he looks into the common room. She's in there. On the couch. Making out with her boyfriend.

Credit where credit is due.