Beirut Report IX

Today I went to dinner for the second night in a row to “Flying Pizza” with Larry and Charlie Brown. On the way there we were remarking on some of the idiosyncrasies of this little land. One of us, I forget whom, said, “Lebanon is just a big family reunion.”

Really, that’s not far from the truth, at least in my experience. As far as I can ascertain, I’m related to pretty much every Christian Lebanese I’ve met so far, or quite nearly. The joke du jour a week ago was that I decided to ask Dalia out because she was the only person here who wasn’t my cousin!

In the interests of history, my American family and preservation of the prodigious knowledge of Tante Hassibi, the family’s dowager aunt nicknamed “La General”, I undertook to create as comprehensive a family tree as I could. The branches that are still question marks are now only those who are 4th cousins or further from me, or are from the American branch of the family, which neither I nor they know well – including two of my young first cousins whose names I can’t remember! I also don’t know most of the orders of birth, so the lists of siblings are often in random order. The names in boldface are people I've met on this trip.

Without further ado… In about 1790, a couple of the family Kfouri living in the Ottoman Empire, in the state of Beirut, in the region of Al-Metn, on the ridge housing Bekfaya, D’hour, Khenshara and countless other villages, brought a son into the world and named him Boulos. Boulos begat Najem, Najem begat Mikhail, and Mikhail begat Ayoub and Suleiman, in the late 1800’s.

Ayoub Kfouri married Mariam, daughter of Nassib Sawaya, and sister of Khaytoum, among others. Ayoub and Mariam had six children; Sofia, Ayoub, Boulos, Salimeh, Tufay’, and Zarifeh. They raised their family in a picturesque valley 3000 feet above sea level between Jouar and Khenshara, just up the hill from where the road turns as you pass the town line into Khenshara, but before you cross the brook.

Famine hit Mount Lebanon during the First World War, and many Lebanese emigrated. Among them was the young Kfouri usra (nuclear family). However, a young man in their village had other ideas: according to one account, he said he was going to go with them, and betrothed Sofia, Ayoub’s eldest. When the day of departure came he took her by the hand and said, “Unpack your bags, honey, you’re staying here with me”, or something to that effect.

In Lowell, Mass, and later Bangor, Maine, the American side of the family – now surnamed “Ray” - multiplied slowly, as Zarifeh, Tufay’ (aka “Uncle Fay”), and Salimeh bore no children. Boulos, aka “Fred”, begat Robert, Richard, and Elizabeth. Richard now has two boys about my age, and Elizabeth two boys in their mid-teens. Yousef, aka “Joseph” begat Ralph Salim, Kenneth, and Ferris. All three had families, but I only know my own branch. Ralph Salim Ray married Cyrilla Fae Boomer Marshall, who had a son John by a deceased first husband, and begat Joanne, David, Elizabeth, Kenneth, and Amy. Beth became my mother. Ayoub returned to Lebanon to live out his days, a process which he completed in the late 1940's.

Returning to Lebanon at the fin de seacle, recall that Nassib Sawaya, mother of Mariam, also had a daughter named Khaytoum, among other children. Khaytoum married a Mr. Hariq, and had Assad, Ibrahim, Hada, Zelfa, Mary, Khayata, Nazira, Najiba, Afifi, and Salimeh. Afifi married Fay Ray, and was known to my mother and grandmother as “Aunt Afifi”. I met Salimeh, the youngest, and the only one in my list still living from her generation, had a family almost as large as her parents: Najib, Eli, Linda, Angelle, Fadia, Lore, Elham, Mona, and Lodi. Fadia and Lodi’s son Walid live in Arlington and Cambridge, Mass, though I met both here. I also met Lore's daughter Halla, Elham’s daughter Jumana, and Jumana’s son Ramy (7), who is of my generation and my fourth cousin.

The man who convinced Sofia Kfouri to separate from her family and stay in Lebanon with him was Khattar Skaf. The new Skaf family grew to include Nassib, Khalil, Rashid, Hassibi, and Saidi. Sofia, the matriarch, died in 1975.

Nassib Skaf married Yvonne Sawaya, and begat Bahjat, Salah, Mounir, Rosette, Tanious, and Yvonne. He died young, in 1948.
Bahjat and Yvonne remained single.
Salah married Hind Maalouf and they are raising my third cousins Sandra (22), Nassib (20), Grace (16), and Sabine (15) in Winsor, Ontario.
Mounir married in Venezuela and begat Yvonne and Angelle. Yvonne is married and has an unborn child.
Rosette married the obnoxiously gregarious Eli Kfouri and begat Liliane, Bassel, and Ferris. Liliane and Eli Karem celebrated their first wedding anniversary last Sunday. Bassel has a son, Christopher. Ferris has two sons, Alex and Serge.

Khalil Skaf, son of Sofia and Khattar, married Renee Sawaya and begat Khattar, Soumaya, Nicolas, Adib, and Hind. He died in 1996.
Khattar married Mirna Aoun and has Khalil (13) and Kristina (10); they live in Dubai most of the year.
Soumaya married Ibrahim Sawaya and has Gaby (23), Genie (20) and Lama (16); they live in Abu Dhabi, though the older kids are at school in Lebanon now and inhabit the family house in D’hour, at 4000 feet above sea level.
Nicolas married Lodi Diab and lives in Shreen with their children Josephine (7) and Renee (5).
Adib moved to Florida where he married a Cuban-American named Maria and has a son Daniel (8). It is thanks to him that I got in touch with the rest of my family.
Hind, who really is my “aunt” here, is unmarried and lives with her mother and Como, the Sri Lankan live-in.

Rashid Skaf, son of Sofia and Khattar, had Ricardo, Bettina, Sophie, Eddy, and Mona. He died in 1986.
His family is younger, and only Bettina, who lives between France and Saudi, has children; Omar (7) and Karim (4).

Hassibi never married, and instead has replaced her mother as the leading woman of the family. She lived 16 years in Florida caring for Zarefeh before the latter’s passing in 1994, and returned to Lebanon to take charge of whatever needed taking charge. The local priest, Dalia’s father, remembered Hassibi’s presence in the church growing up: she had kept all the kids in line, made them sit up straight, and been absolutely unquestioned by the obedient parents. She is also the repository of much of what is written here, and countless volumes more.

Saidi, daughter of Sofia and Khattar Skaf, married George Majdalani, a member of a centuries-old Beirut merchant family. They have Michel, Eli, and Nadine.
Michel, now a professor at Lebanese American University, moved to America at age 17, in 1979, and moved back with the intention of staying permanently in Lebanon six months ago.
Eli married Yousra and has Ralph (3) and another child due within the month.
Nadine is single, and is known as the family’s religious nut.

Jumping back again, to my great-great-great-grandfather’s generation, recall that Mikhail Kfouri had Suleiman, as well as Ayoub and others. Suleiman Kfouri begat Ferris, Hanna, Jamileh, and Najem. Najem begat Elizabeth, while Hanna and Jamileh had no children. Ferris begat Eli, Tanious, and Yvonne. Yvonne has no children. Tanious married Muntaha and they have George, Jawal, and Gizelle. The obnoxiously gregarious Eli married his second cousin’s daughter Rosette, who appears above under the family of Nassib son of Sofia and Khattar Skaf. They still live in Khenshara, in sight of the palatial Kfouri family home and one of the area’s most beautiful churches, built by a wealthy Kfouri a century ago. Lebanon is like one big family reunion.

Confused? I certainly am! It’s better in the family tree that I’ve painstakingly put together, but it’s two sheets of paper wide, and uses every inch. In the period for which I have good data, I’ve listed 6 people in the first generation descended from my great-great-grandparents, Ayoub and Mariam. I’ve listed 11 in the second, 22 in the third (not counting Ferris and Ken’s families, which I don’t know fully), and so far 30 in my own (which is incomplete). I am the fifth eldest of my generation, and within four years of Gaby, who is its leader by age as well as character. And my apologies to Eli Kfouri and Nadine Majdalani – I’m just saying what your families say, though in Eli’s case he proved his obnoxious gregarity to me himself. However, I am indebted to him for the knowledge of his part of the family tree and the names of my oldest known ancestors, Najim Kfouri and his father – my great-great-great-great-great-grandfather – Boulos.