Cairo Reporter: Another One Bites the Dust

Our first full day certainly was full. We went to the pyramids... by camel. Now, I'd never had the desire to place my body at risk on top of what is essentially an ugly horse with a hunchback and big feet. However, it turned out to be quite fun, especially after the 10-year-old guide gave me the reins and whipped the camel a little to get it moving. It's painful to trot on a camel when you only have one functional stirrup: the basic body rhythm is thud-thud-thud. Graceful? Forget it. But my camel was pretty good, if a little tired, and we generally lead the pack. Now, I mentioned the 10-year-old guides, right? Well, everyone in Egypt expects baksheesh (tips). Sometimes there's someone in the bathroom who hands you a paper towel to dry your hands... and they expect baksheesh. And these "guides" were no exception - we had paid their adult bosses, who really did give us a tour, but the kids rely on tips for pay. So we agreed amongst ourselves to pool our tips and give the kids all the same amount. For most of us, this arrangement worked just fine. However, Dan's guide, let's call him Muhammed, wasn't excited about socialism, and kept pulling Dan's camel to the side and asking for extra pay. When Dan refused, Muhammed would slow down, leaving Dan at the end of the pack and quite annoyed. When the rest of us were allowed to control our own camels and trot, Muhammed tried to extort baksheesh from Dan before he would give Dan the reins. The adult guide yelled back at Mo, telling him to ante up the reins. Since he had no choice, Muhammed gave Dan the reins, and like the other kids gave the camel a little flogging to make it trot. However, Muhammed flogged the camel in a particularly tender part of its anatomy, causing it to jump forward with a start and take off at top camel speed. The guides all stood and laughed as we stared in horror at Dan's camel running off into the Sahara! He was hanging on for dear life, but like me he lacked a stirrup. The camel reached a downslope, and Dan forgot to or was unable to (he claims) lean back. The next instant, he was sprawling facefirst on the gritty sand of the Sahara! We rushed over, helped him up, and washed his eyes out, and the guides caught and calmed the camel. They brought the camel over, forced it to kneel down, and motioned for Dan to remount. However, for some reason, Dan chose to walk the rest of the way home.