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You might not be a nerd if you insult the third book in the Gospel of Nerdliness by writing "Okay, so instead of wearing camouflage tunics and carrying M-4s, our special forces ops have big hairy bare feet and dress like extras in 'H.M.S. Pinafore.'"

The author redeems himself by moving on to understanding Tolkien in light of his World War I experience: "You see it on the battlefields, such as the one at Pelennor Fields... It's the Somme -- where 20,000 young English boys ran into emplaced German machine gun fire".