Cowboy (Shut) Up

Dear Red Sox Fans,

How's it going? I hope you enjoyed the winter, but if not, rejoice because it's almost over now. I didn't have such a bad one, what with the Patriots winning and all. I'm hoping that was just a warmup for the Red Sox, who will make the Super Bowl celebration seem like a Little League pizza party by comparison. Think one death is a tragedy? If the Sox win, the blood of a thousand interloping drunk Yankee fans will make the Muddy River run red and at a blood alcohol level of .10. But I digress.

There's one quick point that I want to make to you all while I have your attention, before the "Get More in '04" Red Sox thrill us all and baseball brings summer back to New England. Remember the phrase "Cowboy Up?" Yeah, it was a great phrase - I said it. I yelled it. I chanted it. I wore a cowboy hat with a red "B" sewn on. I was a Cowboy Upper, shamelessly. I embraced the Year of the Cowboy.

The Year of the Cowboy was 2003. This is 2004. Do not chant "Cowboy Up". Do not yell "Cowboy Up". Do not say "Cowboy Up". Don't make puns involving "Cowboy Up". And don't think you're immune if you make puns involving "Cowboy Down" or "Cowboy Over" or "Cowboyed Out".

Cowboy Up brought us close to the World Series. It was a fun ride, don't get me wrong, but I'm going to take a different train this year, in hopes that it won't end up in Mudville with all the others.

Go Red Sox!