Comic Relief

My good friend David finally got going on his new blog, but he certainly started off with a bang! This is one of the funniest things that's ever happened to either of us, so I'll copy it verbatim, but I'll correct his content occasionally (never mind the grammer).

Greetings to all my loyal readers! I'm glad to see you've stopped by to enjoy my latest musings. First things first, do u know what a "mon cheri" is? Well, to make a short story long let me go back to last weekend. I had the honor of house sitting the Weston's hous, dog (a very friendly big german sheperd, note emphasis on friendly), and cat (boo). I enjoyed my stay there immensely except for two events. After a fun night spent with Salim, Meredith, and Salim's Dad (from who I learned more about houses in Brookline then I ever wanted to know), Salim and I were left to spend the night at the Weston's. We headed upstairs with the dog following us and trying to particapate in our conversation by licking and nudging us (Side Note: Is there anything more annoying then when you are on a computer using a mouse and a dog comes up and repeatedly lifts your arm up with your nose causing the screen in front of you flash in flicker right in the middle of an imporntant activity, guess u have to experience it) Anyways, as is the tendency with me and Chops, I was slowing falling to sleep in my bed while Chops waxed poetic about life, liberty, and love (in other words school, parents, and girls). The dog slowly drifted off to sleep to the melancholy tune of Chop's tales. Meanwhile as Chops began to reach the crescendo of his talk culminating with his description of an ideal wife (or something along those lines), my spirits were somewhat revived. Moved by some allusion to God and marraige, I (being the more spiritually minded, thus the partially divine musings, two of us) ventured interupt Salim's eloquent talk and ask a question about Paul's view on marriage. Salim proceeded to describe how some people are called to celibacy. Momentarily stunned but suddenly wide awake, I raised my hands heavenward and pleaded rather fervently, "Dear God Don't Let Me Remain a Virgin Forever!" The dog jumps off the floor and unto my bed nestling his nose into my chest!!!

OK, so of course he's an angel and I'm girl-obsessed. Let's just say it's a two-way street. Bias aside, he's leaving out one of the funniest parts of the story. First of all, the dog is a she not a he! OK, so she jumps up on him the minute he says "virgin" and starts nuzzling his chest and trying to get REAL close. We're cracking up like crazy, but he gets her settled down next to him, and we start to get back to our conversation. Not 10 seconds later, he repeats the word "virgin" in approximately the same context, and with the exact same result from the dog!

>>>>>> I'm still getting over the shock and trying to figure out what God was trying to tell me threw all that.... After going to bed slightly perturbed and more then a bit perplexed, I awoke the next morning and Salim and I decided to get the dog some exercise in the back yard. Unfortunately, after our run in the yard we turned to go back inside only to find we had locked ourselves out!!! Much to our dismay, we found that the Weston's had securely locked all their windows and doors rather securely. After a careful examination of the premises, we realized the only way to enter house was through a small hatch window on the steep roof of this two story house. Luckily for us, a rather rancid smell from one of our trips to release the hostages had forced (literally forced in order to avoid suffication) us to open the bathroom window. Salim eagerly pointed out that I being the string bean that I am had a much better chance of fitting through the window then he did. Seeing his point, I made like SpiderMan and hoisted myself onto the roof of their porch and then climbing their roof and entering the window from the side. After a good few minutes of assessing the best way to get through the window (no easy task mind you) (made much more difficult by Chop's incessant rain of advice), I slid threw the window I had a moment or too of worry as my feet felt for the ground (i kinda felt like the Grinch going down the chimney; ya know the line i"f Santa could fit so could the Grinch", yeah i knew u knew that one) but I got threw just find with a few minor scraps. I unlocked the door and Chops came in to congratulate me on my rather herioic success; I headed back out to tend to the dog; Chops followed but foolishly assuming I had not yet unlocked the door proceeded to RELOCK IT!!! Let's just say I refused to go back on the roof. Thus, Chops was forced to do his best "Santa" immatation. Defying laws of gravity, Chops made it up to the window. Then, the unexplainable happenned Salim decided to go threw the window HEAD FIRST!!! Standing flabbergasted and resting my hand on the stone wall to steady my weakening legs, I stared at chops who after his head first dive into the window had assumed a "Pooh in the Bee's Nest" position. My horror turned to laughter as I saw only Salim's butt sticking out the window and his feet flailing in the air in all directions. With tears rolling down my face, I finally saw dissappear into the window.

I was not stuck. I did wave my feet in the air, mostly for dramatic effect, since David was cracking up like a lunatic behind me. I paused - a lot shorter than any of David's half dozen pauses - to get firm footing with my hands (so would that be handing?) on the sink and the back of the toilet. When I was sure of my grip, I slid my legs through and completed a slow-motion flip, coming down with my back arched and landing squarely on both feet in the middle of the floor. It was fun.

For the record, I had opened the window to let steam out after a shower. The hostages had been released the previous evening, to wide international acclaim.

And last and quite possibly least, when I left for class, David was on his hands and knees scrubbing an astounding amount of dog feces, which had come in on his shoes, off the carpet.

Well told, David, but not quite as well as the Shoe Story, lol.