Guest Post: Dubya

Much has been said, taught, discussed, argued, and thought about on the issue of marriage from a Biblical/Christian perspective. After being quoted, misquoted and misinterpreted, I want to present my perspective on the issue of marriage as best I can. I Corinthians 6:20 states:

“You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”

The words of the apostle Paul ring out loud and clear, and I think the issue of marriage is best approached from the perspective of this truth. As a Christian, your life is not your own, your desires are not your own, your thoughts are not your own, your will is not your own, your emotions are not your own, your career is not your own, your spirit is not your own, you are not your own! In the King James Version, the same verse says, “Therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.”

Jesus said:

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters--yes, even his own life--he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple…. Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?" (Luke 14:26-27,34)

A disciple is a follower. As Christians, we have been called to be disciples of Jesus Christ. This call means we have to be willing to give up everything of our own for the sake of the call of Jesus. We follow in Jesus’ example when on the cross he gave up everything that was his for us.

For some, this concept may be difficult to accept or understand. It involves complete surrender. But herein lies the biggest issue we deal with our desire for marriage or a significant other. For in this crucial issue, we would prefer to have it done our way.

When I was quoted as saying, “When you stop looking for/desiring a girlfriend (or future spouse or whatever) that's usually the time God will bless you with one.” I was alluding to our selfish desire to see relationships happen our way.

Paul said:

“I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world--how he can please his wife-- and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” – II Timothy 4:6-7

Paul more than any other knew the importance of staying undividedly focused on God. Paul writes Timothy, “For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

I know I want my life to be poured out for the glory of Jesus Christ! Therefore, I will gladly surrender my desires for a spouse to the Lord trusting that me knows what is best for me. Psalm 139 says, “(Lord) you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down… All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!”

God knows my thoughts and desires, and He knows the plans He has for my life. As I run the race and seek to help the kingdom of God expand on earth, I seek to follow in the footsteps of Christ with undivided attention, confident in this promise from Jesus:

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” - Matthew 7:11

I know my heavenly Father gives good gifts to his children! If I am willing to surrender my will and desires to Him, I can be sure that he will give me in abundance every good gift that I need in order to successfully complete the race He has marked out for me.

During this segment of the race (being single), I do not want to be veering from the inner track to chase after who I think might be the right one. No, I wait patiently for the day when love will be awakened. Instead of worrying about who, what, where, when, why, and how, I am confident that God will guide my steps and show me when to step out in faith into the relationship He may have for me. That romance will be second only to the ultimate romance, my relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ.

“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” - Song of Solomon 8:4

“Teach me your way, O LORD , and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.” - Psalm 86:11