How come I get all the dumb ones?

That's a quote from Mr Sgroi, who used to play pickup ball with kids in Milton... Now it's a reference to my students in Model Arab League Practicum, who can't understand that I know how to use Google. I told them to stop ripping their papers off the CIA website... so they use BBC and Factmonster. Brilliant.

You Might Be a Nerd If

You decline an invitation to eat on someone's guest pass at the cafeteria because you fear you won't be able to eat enough to make it worthwhile.

This is a new feature on InstantReplay. Seeing as I live in the company of nerds, I might as well publish their habits and attitudes, in the interest of anthropology. All anecdotes will be true, or very close to true.

A Gray Matter

Doonesbury today highlights the absurdity of the California recall election.

Now, before you conservatives get bent out of shape, remember that this is a very conservative argument I'm making. We have a representative democracy. Inherent in that system is a measure of trust that the people of a state (or town, or nation) place in their leaders. This or any recall is an essentially undemocratic, liberal mechanism. It allows a small percentage of activist civilians to essentially call for a re-vote, undermining the people's choice.

If a governor or other official is truly horrible, other members of the government have the right and responsibility to remove him from power. We saw the process for removing a president played out in 1998, and in cases where an ouster is actually likely (as in Nixon), resignation is usually engineered.

The California legislature's first job in 2004 should be closing down the circus. I'm sure the governor will be willing to sign off on it...whoever it happens to be.

Girl Policy Update: Six Steps to Losing A Good Friend

OK, I've been too reticent to write one of these in the wake of a somewhat painful failed friendship this summer, and I'll try not to put a lot of details on the 'net, but there are a few principles that bear adding to the venerable Girl Policy (begun 7/29/02, updated 5/01/03).

As some of you know, I had a non-dating friendship with a very pleasant young lady this Spring, a friendship that we both invested heavily in time-wise, but we kept free of emotional baggage or co-dependency. It was almost precisely what I wanted it to be - we were getting to know one another as friends, we had the very real pleasure of a growing friendship, and we were both committed to the courtship system. Unfortunately, mostly through my stupidity, that blew up in our faces when we attempted (and largely failed) to have a conversation about "us". It was a model of miscommunication, and really exacerbated the underlying problems.

Due to that exacerbation, the incident has really scarred our friendship. There's no chance (or desire) of getting back to where we were. However, even a normal cordiality has been elusive, because, I think, both of us feel betrayed. The lesson I've learned is not "how to get the girl" - in this instance her mind was made up & I was fine with that. Rather, the lesson is "how not to lose the friend". Well, I guess I can't really say that either - I don't know if this works; it's an untested theory. So this is an object lesson in "How to lose your friends." Don't try this without adult supervision. A caveat: not all of this actually happened - I didn't do everything wrong.

The first step to losing a female friend (and yes, this is addressed to guys. Sorry ladies, but any advice you get from me is highly suspect) is to be confused. The less you understand the relationship yourself, the more you'll be able to confuse and confuddle her, which prepares her to become pissed and bitter at you.

The second step is to get bad advice. This article would be a good place to start.

Third, psych yourself out. Make sure you have nothing to do for a whole week beforehand, so you can totally and utterly outthink yourself and make the conversation you're going to have way more important in your head than it is in real life. Talk to yourself for long enough and you'll begin to believe anything you think. I didn't do this, but leaving God out of it is a big bonus. I mean, the goal here is to create emotional havoc - don't let Someone constructive get in the way.

Fourth, make sure she shows up four hours late. I don't know how to work this, but I can tell you it sure helps throw you off your game, and is a great assist on putting the finishing touches on Step #3.

Fifth, start off by talking about the past. This might be a result of Step #2, or it might be your own idea - either way it works wonders. It seems like a safe play going in, but it puts your own uncertainty and emotion on display, and can cast doubt on your entire friendship. Apparently I was remarkably successful in this, and I managed to largely ruin the great times we'd had together, without even intending to. Brilliance, I tell you, brilliance.

Sixth, don't be simple or post a single understandable question. All your preparation is for naught if she easily understands what you're asking and gives you a clear answer. You might, God forbid, move on and continue to be friends.

Introducing: Ovalstar

Also known as Red Bull Man, Sk8Frk9, True-D, or just Chris, this guy's an ace LiveJournaller. Never been an LJ fan myself, but some of the stuff on his journal is interesting, and you can get a peak at the RealLifeBoston LJ community through his Friends page. The link is on the left under "Journals".

If you have/know of a journal that ought to be linked here, just drop me a comment.

Retreating from New Hampshire

I need a vacation from my vacation. This weekend was the Real Life Fall Retreat, which was way too stressful to be considered a break from anything. There was a lot of emotional drama throughout our group, and not a lot of sleep throughout anything. On the other hand, the worship and teaching times were a real blessing, and in that sense I got a lot out of the trip. On the whole, however, it wasn't nearly as resting or reviving as a weekend spent at home would have been. In a sense I'm glad I went, but only in the sense that I don't unwish anything that's happened in my past - it all happened, and to learn that it hadn't really happened would be rather unsettling (incidentally, I know almost precisely how that feels). So, if I were to give advice to myself a week ago, I'd say "don't go". But now, I won't second-guess myself, which as most of you know is something I very rarely do.

The Hunt for Eleven

The Red Sox magic number is 11. That's right, 11 wins is all we need in October to win our first World Series in 85 years. It's amazing, folks, amazing. 11 wins, and as many as 8 losses. Is that too much to ask?

Remembering to Breathe

After three marathon days of work, I'm keeping pace with my workload. Thank God, because with a retreat coming up this weekend, my duties are literally close to overwhelming me. Hence the decrease in blogging - please pardon a busy man.

By the by, to clarify "busy" (an overused, undervalued word), I'm talking get-up-at-6:15-go-to-bed-at-1:30-and-work-all-but-an-hour-in-between busy, not I'm-too-busy-to-talk-to-you-I-need-to-watch-paint-dry busy. Get the picture?

Guilty As Charged

Unpopular Attorney General John Ashcroft announced tougher guidelines on plea bargaining for federal prosecutors. While it's not a detailed policy, it instructs prosecutors to seek a conviction for "the most serious, readily provable offense" in criminal cases tried before federal courts. I'm not a criminal justice expert, but based on what I know the biggest effect of this, if obeyed, will be longer, more expensive trials. The results will probably be more fair - innocent accusees who formerly plea-bargained to avoid a long sentance will now be more likely to go free, and guilty parties will be accountable for their entire crime, not just part of it.

However, if Ashcroft's policy is really followed, we could see sharply rising costs and delays in the federal justice system, and inconsistencies between state and federal prosecution. While this is a good policy in principle, far more depth is needed to ensure that it doesn't do more harm than good to the system

Plea bargains are a popular and powerful tool for prosecutors to secure the cooperation of defendants and to speed cases through the system without devoting additional time and resources to a trial. Some 96 percent of the 60,000 cases handled by federal prosecutors in 2001, the last year for which complete figures were available, resulted in plea bargains, officials said... Cases that allow for exceptions include the "substantial assistance" of a cooperating defendant, the drain on resources that a trial might cause and the Justice Department's approval of a "fast-track" program used to expedite prosecutions, like the type used in Southwest border states to prosecute illegal immigrants... Despite the large percentage of cases that result in plea bargains, Justice Department officials said they did not expect the new policy to mean a "significant" reduction in their use, but they added that it was too early to predict the ultimate impact in terms of pleas or length of sentences.

Also worth noting is the NYTimes article from which I lifted my quotes. Nine of twenty-three paragraphs quote or mention negative reaction to the policy. No positive reaction is mentioned, and just four paragraphs are devoted to Ashcroft and his assistants' explanation of the policy. The Washington Post may have swung right with the new administration, but the New York Times remains as trenchantly left-wing as ever.

Margin of Error

While the media may have moved on quickly from the Wesley Clark story, the American people have latched onto it. Clark has surged to the lead among Democrats - simply by entering the race. He hasn't made any new policy proposals, he hasn't electrified crowds, he (presumably) hasn't built a better network among Democrats than any of the other. But he has "electability" - the aura of someone who could run in a presidential race as more than a statement. Someone who stands for so little that a third of Americans could vote for him.

The Washington Post reported today that Clark has surged 9 percentage points past grassroots lefty Howard Dean. Also, Clark led Bush head-to-head: "Clark, who has yet to detail the agenda he will run on, bested Bush 49 to 46 percent in the poll, which is within the survey's margin of error."

15 Minutes

In the Washington Post's Media Notes, Howard Kurtz performs an autopsy on the Wesley Clark media splash. Taking cues from USA Today ("a cliché-filled 11-minute oration that brought to mind the Peggy Lee ballad, Is That All There Is? . . ."), the NYTimes ("The general's remarks in a free-rolling 90-minute airborne interview suggested the extent of the adjustment he faces in becoming a presidential candidate"), and blogger Andrew Sullivan ("Everything is seen through the prism of NATO's Kosovo campaign, his one claim to military glory"), among others.

This is a clear example of the media "setting the table" for public debate. While they certainly can't put people in power single-handedly, media strongmen can leverage a candidate or smother him. Of course, Denis Kucinich (for example) isn't much of a story - but a headline in the New York Times could change that (the story creates the story, if you will). I can see it now "KUCINICH DECLARES CANDIDACY" across the top of the newspaper. The story could be short on facts and long on comparison, "Denis is a relative outsider to Washington. Though he's served in Congress for X years, his biennial accountability to the voters in his Ohio district gives him a perspective shared by none of the other candidates who are in public service."

The media's task in the Clark case is even simpler: stop the circus after one act. It's not like there's something important happening and they're ignoring it... they're just denying Clark the momentum that they've given plenty of candidates in the past. His lack of media savvy and flat appearance apparently bored enough people, and as long as Howard Dean is still chugging, it's going to take someone Clintonesque to take attention off of the Vermonster.

Cowboy Up

The U.S. is asking South Korea, Turkey and Pakistan to put up - we want 40,000 more cannon fodder... I mean, highly trained professional soldiers (AP Story). It's interesting that these three countries are being asked: all of them rely on or benefit immensely from U.S. support.

South Korea, of course, has American soldiers defending it, and U.S. nuclear weapons effectively guaranteeing its independence. Turkey is surrounded by countries who don't like it - Greece, Russia, Armenia, Iran, Iraq, Syria, etc. It's moved away from the Islamic world and embraced the West, and was a key U.S. ally throughout the Cold War. American support of Turkey's overtures to Europe is a big plus for them, as is our tolerance of their repression of Kurdish nationalists. They need us to guarantee that Iraqi Kurds don't get out of hand, and we're asking for some mercenaries in exchange. Sounds fair to me. Asking Pakistan for troops is just one more request on a running list that we established in October of 2001. After two years of Pervez Musharraf asking, "How high?", I'm beginning to wondering how much longer we can ask Pakistan to go on jumping. At some point, they're going to expect real support in their ongoing feud with India, and that's not something the United States can afford to give.

Sox Tickets

Red Sox tickets are going on sale tonight! InstantReplay readers are all scrambling to get seats before they sell out (in a few hours).

Alright, Baby

Two quick Red Sox anecdotes from my sister Keziah. She stopped by Fenway before the game today on her walk back from school, and watched the players arriving in their fabulous car.

So Kez camps out along the fence, peering through a gap in the canvas, watching her heroes dismount their noble steeds. Manny Ramirez walks right in front of her, so she says, "Go get 'em, Manny!" He turned and replied, "Alright, baby".

A little later, Jeff Suppan arrives (fresh off his latest poor pitching performance), and goes into the clubhouse. After a minute, he comes back out, walking with a maintenance worker. They each were pulling a dolly, and Suppan asks the worker, "So tell me, how many major league baseball players help you deliver Coke bottles?"

We're all going to the game tonight - and hoping that the weather and the Red Sox bat get a little warmer!

Candidate Camera

As a rough measure of the candidates' success in generating news (which is second only in importance to gathering money right now), I've got a few stats on each of the ten. The first stat is the number of news stories posted online on September 16th and 17th and searched by Google. The second is the date of their last article in the Washington Post. The third is their Gallup poll figures on preferences of Democratic leaning voters who are registered to vote, taken a week ago (before Clark's announcement).

Candidate	News stories	Washington Post story	Gallup poll
Carol Mosely Braun	124	August 27	4
Wesley Clark	682	September 17	12
Howard Dean	782	September 15	14
John Edwards	499	September 16	5
Richard Gephardt	241	September 13	16
Bob Graham	501	July 5	4
John Kerry	383	September 15	12
Dennis Kucinich	297	July 16	2
Joe Lieberman	235	September 3	13
Al Sharpton	131	June 29	2

Now, keep in mind that the first column counts articles where the candidate's name appeared, not articles solely about them, whereas the Washington Post date refers to the last article posted on that candidate's own page.

The Gallup data is worth checking out, as is this rather humourous article in the Hampshire (MA) Gazette.

Ten Little Politicians

One little, two little, three little Indians
Four little, five little, six little Indians
Seven little, eight little, nine little Indians
Ten little Indian boys

And all ten of the them would sooner admit to smoking marijuana than have that politically incorrect counting song played at one of their rallies.

Now, I liked nine better. Nine is a square. Nine can be divided into three front-runners, three bottom-runners, and three vanity candidates. Where do we put Wesley Clark in that matrix?

The Washington Post reports that Clark will intone his Democratic catechism tomorrow, including [expressing] support for abortion rights, affirmative action, and better health care coverage. Clark also looks like a winner: he's got Kerry's military credentials, Edwards' Southernness, Lieberman's crossover appeal, Dean's outsider status, and he lacks Sharpton's aura of unpresidentiality. The mere fact that he's a mainstream Democrat who could win, or at least appears that way, is likely to bring a lot of Dems over to his side primarily because they want to see Bush gone. Most Democrats, I suspect, would rather drop Dean than try to ride his niche appeal to the Presidency. Likewise, Clark's Arkansas base and close ties with the Clinton administration will assist him in expanding his support among the party establishment.

InstantReplay has boarded the Clark bandwagon - now who do we want to nominate as Veep?

Class Act

I'm teaching my first class tonight! I've got a few butterflies in my stomach, even though I'll only be speaking for half an hour, and sort of MC'ing the rest of the time. Say one for me...

Search & Destroy

Look what the cat dragged in... we've had visitors looking for:

causes and effect of premarital sex (ranked 470-somethingth, earlier)
2 years later september 11 reactions (ranked 68th)
dating couple exclusivity talk (ranked 160-somethingth, earlier)
Armed Reactions (ranked 10th)
bowling allies and boston (ranked 1st)
General Wesley Clark Dirt (ranked 1st)

I'm consistently surprised at the number of people who use the Internet to look for garbage. I mean, isn't anybody out there searching for "opinions on the U.N." or "regression analysis"?

Vote Yes!

The United Nations Security Council is set to vote on a resolution demanding that Israel not deport or harm Palestinian leader and icon Yasr Arafat. The resolution is sponsored by Syria, which holds one of the 10 revolving seats on the very undemocratic council. Most member states support the resolution, which also expresses grave concern at the increase in violence, without specifically calling out Palestinian terrorists. U.S. Ambassador John Negroponte has indicated that the U.S. could support the resolution if stronger language was directed against terrorists; whether the others will allow the resolution to be watered down will be seen. However, with the vote set for today, veto by the U.S. is likely.

Now, if I were the U.S. ambassador, I'd be signing on as a co-sponsor. Dan Gillerman, the Israeli Ambassador to the U.N., insulted my country during debate yesterday, cheapening the suffering of Americans. The BBC quotes Gillerman as saying, "[Arafat] is at the helm of those who have been supporting mega-terror attacks, in the style of the bombing of the Twin Towers, to bring the region to catastrophe." Now, Palestinian terrorists have killed perhaps 1,000 Israelis since 2000, while the single day of September 11, 2001, killed over 3,000 individuals, mostly Americans. Not to diminish the suffering of Israelis, but you best not be calling for that kind of slaughter on your own people, Dan! (The fact that Arafat is not leading the terrorists, but aiding them at worst, is beside the point).

Good guys and bad guys?

A coup d'etat today in Guinea-Bissau, an impoverished former Portuguese colony in West Africa, replaced the autocratic President with the Army Chief of Staff. The BBC reports that former President Kumba Yalla dissolved the government a year ago, and promised to hold elections to replace it, but delayed those elections four times, including once very recently. In reaction to the fourth delay, General Verissimo Correia used the army to arrest and depose the president. Now Correia is settling in at the presidential mansion and promising to hold elections soon.

This brings up a difficult question in Third World politics, namely, Is it alright to stage a coup against a leader in order to make the country more democratic? Does a desirable end justify an otherwise unacceptable means? What if the coup is against a democratically elected but no longer popular leader? We can't just overthrow governments to appease the public whenever they change their minds - patience is part of the democratic process. However, if coups were never staged in many countries, there's no telling how long the dictator du jour would stay in power. Of course, if their replacements are no better, why is the coup acceptable? It simply allows the country to degenerate into the stage for a power struggle between elites, a power struggle that tends to hurt many bystanders. But is it fair to say that a coup is acceptable if and only if it results in democracy? That's a flagrant case of the ends justifying the means, which is precisely the type of national leadership that democracy at its best seeks to subvert.

Brain-eating Knoxvillean

My good friend Valerie Brock got written up for her recent trip to Egypt with the National Council on U.S.-Arab Relations in the Knoxville News Sentinel. Congrats to Valerie!

For a cultural food experience, the Americans tried to eat like Egyptians, launching themselves at oddities. "I accidentally ate brain - definitely an accident. I thought it was a fried chicken patty. That was weird."

Four Games

The D***Yankees lead the Red Sox by four games in the American League East. A look at these team's records against other teams reveals where we've lost ground. If you think about it, 4 games out of 146 isn't many, and the two teams' records are surprisingly similar, with a few noteworthy exceptions.

Opponent	Red Sox Record	Yankees Record	Sox +/-
Anaheim	6-3	6-3	0
Baltimore	7-8	8-4	-2.5
Chicago	4-2	1-2	+1.5
Cleveland	2-1	5-2	-1
Detroit	8-1	5-1	+1.5
Kansas City	5-1	4-2	+1
Minnesota	2-4	7-0	-4.5
Oakland	3-4	3-6	+1
Seattle	5-2	5-4	+1
Tampa Bay	8-4	8-4	0
Texas	5-4	4-5	+1
Toronto	10-9	10-9	0
National League	11-7	13-5	-2
Head to Head	9-10	10-9	-1
Total	90-56	86-60	-4

As you can see, the total deficit isn't even as big as our deficit against Minnesota alone, whom the Yankees owned but we foundered against. Also, the Red Sox have better records against 4 of the other teams in the AL above .500, while the Yankees are better only against Minnesota (Toronto is a wash). If Boston's games against Baltimore had come out more predictably, we could be tied with the Yankees today. All of this emphasizes the length of the baseball season - those sloppy losses in May really come back to bite you when games are in short supply on September 13th!

Thanks to ESPN for the data.

Introducing: Involution04

Involution:
a. the act of being involved.
b. the state of being involved.

Loyal InstantReplay reader Dubya and our friend the Audio Outcast have birthed a brainchild - Involution '04 (a meld of the words "involve" and "revolution"), a gathering of college-age Christians from all the campus ministries and churches in the Boston area. It's due to occur on January 31.

Kudos to Chris for the nice colors and excellent Boston shots: traffic jam, Kenmore Sq, jaywalkers, leafless tree, Green Line tracks, etc. The link will be in the "Tools" section, for lack of a better category.

Libyan on A Jet Plane

There's so many times we've crashed and burned,
Seems like the colonel would finally learn
Our Russian jets don't make good submarines.
We fly out to protect our nation
And use seat bottoms for floatation.
The water's warm, and we're good swimmers too.

So kiss me and smile for me,
Call my folks in Tripoli,
Tell them that Qaddafi made me go.
I'm a Libyan on a jet plane,
I don't know if I'll be back again.
Muammar, I hate to go.

The United Nations Security Council voted 13-0, U.S. and France abstaining, to repeal sanctions against the Libyan Arab Jumahuriya, 15 years after the Lockerbie bombing. Nobody's really sure if Colonel Muammar Qaddafi is actually trying to move his country towards a more normal position in world affairs. Libya is still under U.S. oil-related sanctions that may or may not be lifted; I think it wouldn't be a bad idea, personally, since oil prices are high and we need all the Arab sentiment we can get. Besides, if we don't lift them, we'll lose out to Europeans on getting Libyan oil contracts.

Black Sunday

The Sports Guy at ESPN's Page 2 has published a log of this past Sunday, the worst Boston sports day of the year (so far).

My Dad put it best: "I'm not sure which game is bigger. ... I just know that there's a good chance my whole week could be completely ruined by 4 o'clock"... My buddy Hench arrives at the New Sports Guy Mansion ... he's already ranting about Jeff Suppan, who hasn't even finished warming up in the bullpen. Most Boston fans are insane; Hench is completely, utterly, totally insane. This is a man who was heading to his fantasy football draft last week and told his wife, "This day is the highlight of my year," when he just got married two months ago. That went over well... We opt to not call. That means we're about three hours away from a Collective Male Guilt Trip -- the weird phenomenon when somebody disappoints the guys, then gets treated to the obligatory chilly reception when they finally show up. Now that prison rape has been outlawed, it's just about the worst experience you can have in a room filled with guys. And yet I digress... Here's Hench's take: "The happiest moment of the day was a bloop single ... we're 2½ back of the Yanks ... the Pats' season is over ... we alienated our friends ... and the entire day was brought to us by the Yankees announcers and a cackling Dan Dierdorf."

Yasr or No?

The State of Israel has decided to remove Yasr Arafat. Remove. Isn't that a word the C.I.A. uses? NYTimes reports: The decision, which Israeli officials said was unlikely to be put into action immediately, drew no direct criticism from the Bush administration, which simply repeated its opposition to any expulsion...The Israeli news media reported that the options included killing him.

Now, don't get me wrong - Arafat needs to go. He's out of ideas, out of friends, out of political clout, and out of date. He and Ariel Sharon were both at their prime in 1982, when first they warred in Lebanon. In Gaza two decades later, neither is contributing to the peace and well-being of Israel or Palestine. That said, Israel has taken another bold stride down the path to making Arafat a martyr. Yasr may be "irrelevant" now, but if he's killed, jailed or even forcibly exiled by the Israelis, he's going to be irrevocably relevant as a symbol and a hero to Palestinians and Arabs worldwide. Israel, the U.S., Egypt and many of our other allies could pay a high human or economic cost for this decision. The only way to get rid of Arafat is to wait - "removing" him would only make his absence a popular force equal to his presence.

The U.S. government is trying to play both sides by timidly disapproving of the Arafat removal. Essentially, we'd like to go on the record as not endorsing this. However, when you're giving someone $3 billion per year it doesn't matter what the record says. What Israel does is seen by most of the world as an extension of U.S. policy by other means, and as the NYTimes quotes in another article, it was unclear whether the decision would prompt a protest from President Bush to the Israeli leader, Ariel Sharon, which [an official] called "the only phone call that's going to carry any weight." Arafat's fate is going to be on American hands, whether we like it or not. Again we must choose: do we control our client state, cut it loose, or suffer the consequences? Multiple choice, folks - only freshmen think that's easy.

Of course, for Arafat's personal life exile might not be such a bad way to end his days. A group of Mr. Arafat's security guards, with semiautomatic rifles at hand, gathered around a reporter's computer to watch as the screen saver displayed pictures of the Maine coastline. As the stony beaches and pine trees flashed by, the men joked about which spot they hoped to be exiled to.

9 - 11

What hasn't been said? If I could think of something, I'd say it.

May God be with us all.

WTO

The World Trade Organization has begun meetings in Cancun, Mexico. Thousands of people have come to protest (and enjoy Cancun, no doubt). The protests turned violent when a South Korean farmer stabbed himself and died a protestory suicide. Of course, "Despite much public optimism this year, few now believe that Cancun will result in a definitive deal, and there are reports that a so-far unscheduled extra ministerial meeting is being planned. " So let's just enjoy Cancun...

Time!

There are haves and have nots. This week, I'm a have not: I leave for Northeastern at 6:45 tomorrow morning, and I'm booked almost solid until 10:00pm. Feel free to pray for me.

Are you ready for some Buffalo?

The Patriots just got run over in a Buffalo stampede. I missed most of the bleeding, as it was already 21-0 in favor of the boys from upstate by the time I got to the game (2 minutes left in the first half). It didn't get any better. Twice the Pats had 1st & goal with a yard remaining; both times they choked.

It could be a long year.

Army Gets Warrior Therapy

The U.S. armed forces have moved increasingly towards specialization in recent years, at the expense of the soldiering spirit. The Army has too many soldiers who have lost touch with their inner warrior, said Gen. Kevin P. Byrnes, the Army's top training general, in todays NYTimes. So beginning next year...the Army plans to formally inculcate what it calls a "warrior ethos" throughout the ranks.

Yeah, so it's good to know that the Army is getting in touch with it's inner, um, warrior.

Pot Calls Kettle Black

In the War on Music Piracy, the record companies (who realize that they can't convince the world they're poor no matter how they whine) have stumbled upon a new tactic: acuse file-sharing engines of trading in porn - especially kiddie porn - as well as music (NYTimes story). Taken logically, the music industry's idea that any place illegal files can change hands should be shut down would lead to a removal of the "attachment" feature on email. I mean, some people are emailing child pornography! Hotmail must go!

Yeah, so it's good to know that the music industry is looking after the nation's moral health.

Crash & Burn

InstantReplay is offering stock in the Road Map for Peace. Price: $0.00. Stick a fork in it, folks: Mahmoud Abbas resigned today, and Israel tried to assassinated Big Cheese Ahmed Yessin, the spiritual leader of Hamas (BBC story). Look for the U.S. to pressure Arafat to reject Abbas' resignation in a bid to keep the Road Map on life support. However, with Israel going after Yessin, Hamas has nothing to lose, and will use all the power they have to kill Israelis.

Yeah, so it's good to know that the Middle East is in responsible hands...

Sputtering Republican

Ali Baba e-mailed me a comment regarding the last post. FYI, I didn't remove the comments; it's just that their server is down until the 9th, supposedly.

Baba writes: The one time i feel like venting my anger in a comment is just after you remove comments AAARRGGHHH?!?!?!

Anyway. Money has a multiplicity of uses. That is what makes it valuable and that is the reason people want it. As Justice Stephens [sic] points out, at its core money is property, but money stops being pieces of green paper when it can be used for something, the very reason we value it. When used to buy political ads money stops being property and becomes speech. The idea that the government can tell me, a private citizen, that a billboard proclaiming "Howard Dean is an ignorant slut!" is illegal just because Howard Dean is running for president is completely against the text of the first amemdment. As written the first amendment, protects both minorities and unpopular opinions from censorship. At the same time, it protects my right to use my money to buy political ads, which are uncontestedly speech. The idea that there is a magic number which represents too much money being spent on politics (which is the core of your argument) smacks of the typical of the "the government knows what is best for you, so let it tell you how to spend you money" which is typical of all liberal policies.

Ali Baba

PS. Class is strating. Excuse any typos and/or incoherence. I'll take it up with you some other time. Mark my words. This is the worst abrogation of the first amendment in some time. I feel sick.

BICK-rah

The Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act, a.k.a McCain-Feingold, goes before the Supreme Court on Monday. At stake is a lot of political money, and possibly the upcoming election. This case is complicated even by the high court's standards - NYTimes goes to great lengths to describe the convolution. The article also cites a Justice John Paul Stevens opinion on campaign finance reform that cuts to the heart of the issue. Stevens wrote, "Money is property; it is not speech." If this is indeed true, then Congress has broad rights to regulate its use in federal election activity. If money is speech, their right to regulate it is greatly diminished, though not abolished.

I agree with Stevens that money is not indeed speech. The intention of the prescient First Amendment was to protect unpopular opinions from persecution, not to guarantee any opinion a certain "volume". The recently remedied situation in campaign finance was itself an abrogation of the intention of the Amendment. By permitting massive individual and group contributions, the system gave a loudspeaker to the speech of corporations, unions, and some special interest groups. None of these groups are now disadvantaged - they are now merely no longer advantaged; it's a level playing field now. Take the unions for instance: they could reduce union dues & request that their members give the money to a specific candidate. If the voters represented by that special interest (the union) really do support the candidate, let them express it themselves, on equal footing with all other American voters.

Now, there are issues with the new system, but these stem from the fact that there isn't enough campaign finance reform, not that there is too much. As we've witnessed in the progressing campaign, the Republicans have a huge advantage in fundraising, primarily because their supporters are wealthier. Just as I don't like the idea of special interests "owning" the politicians, nor do I like the idea of the wealthy "owning" them. It's not possible in the U.S.A., but in an ideal world, political advertizing would be illegal. Politicians would be featured as news and human interest stories, and their message - not their sound byte - would have to attract voters. However, if we tried to institute that in the U.S. as it is today, we would merely shift undue influence to the Networks. As long as there's an oligopoly in mass communication, any attempt to recapture the rhetorical melee of the early 19th century is doomed.

Mostly Harmless

The British have a reputation to uphold, and they're doing their darnedest, according to NYTimes.

"It's disgusting," said Martina Tajdusova, who works in a hotel downtown. "They spend a lot of money here, but the British don't know when to stop, when is enough. They drink and drink and drink"... "As a friend of mine said the other day, the British treat every day as if it were New Year's Eve," said Ivo Lorenc, who rents out apartments to tourists, and who once cleaned up after a party of four Britons who stayed for two nights and left 100 empty bottles behind... "It's true that we have had some complaints about groups of young people, but it's not just the British. It's not possible to divide troublemakers according to nation." Perhaps not, but the British, particularly those on stag weekends, certainly stand out. They travel in groups. They wear unifying items of clothing, like custom-printed T-shirts or humorous costumes. Residents are still talking about the time a group of 53 women arrived from Wales, each one dressed like Tom Jones. "It's cheaper to come here than to go to Blackpool," said one of Mr. Neley's friends, "and nobody knows us here."

There's a very simple economic solution to Prague's problem: higher beer prices. As demand from hooligans goes up, prices in downtown bars will increase, and some of the tourists will stay in Blackpool. Those who still come will pay more for each drink. The price increase shouldn't affect Czechs at their local establishments, but it might drive them out of the tourist-friendly bars downtown.

The Archive Is Back!

The Archive Is Back

Check out Instant Replay's archives. A simple setting changed, and you can read and re-live your favorite InstantReplay moments! Or just blackmail me, or tell me how wrong my predictions were.

Celebrity Boxing V: POWell v. AraPHAT

Don't worry - that's as bad as it gets. (Could it get worse? I dunno). Colin, however, does have some choice diplomatic words for Yasr, who's getting his best chance in years to refurbish his image as an enemy of the imperialists and a fighter.

We didn't deal with Yasser Arafat when we were putting the road map together so his comments don't mean a lot to me. I'm not really responding to them in any way. Arafat has not been playing a helpful role and if he wanted to play a helpful role, he would be supporting Prime Minister Abbas, not frustrating his efforts.

Powell, however, needs to bash someone of greater stature than Arafat if he wants to get back his image as the voice of reason/diplomacy/brains in the Bush administration. Powell would do well to diplo-smack Rummy or one of the Democratic candidates even... or the Chinese Communist leadership for that matter. Arafat is just too easy.

Thanks to Ha'aretz for the quote. In other news, Palestine's most seasoned diplomat, Saeb Erekat, has been approved by Abbas to head negotiations with Israel and the U.S. Erekat's reputation of being tough but respectful should serve him well, and he's probably the best man for the job, even though he is an Arafat loyalist.

Search and Destroy

It's been a long time since I published this feature, but people have searched for, well a number of things, and arrived here. InstantReplay is the:

#12 search result for pictures of General Wesley K. Clark.
#1 search result for instant replay at Google (that's an accomplishment, since we've been lower in the past).
#1 search result for deaf replay thing. Yeah, we have those.
#14 search result for bid for pastorship.

That's right, folks, we're auctioning off a pastorship, right here at InstantReplay! But first, let's auction off the pastor so we can have a vacancy...do I hear one presidency? Anyone............ OK, let's bring it down. One vice presidency!! He's cheap, folks, get him while he's cheap!

You@NOSPAMYourCompany.com

I heard this meme a little while ago, and I think it's worth using. Rather than leave my email intact, where spam-bots can "harvest" it (doesn't that sound like something from the Matrix?), I'm going to do as this meme suggested and change it to sfurth@NOSPAMcoe.neu.edu. To get the address, just remove the NOSPAM. Think y'all can handle that?

JFK or GWB?

Supporters of Senator John Kerry's bid for the presidency like to point out the similarities between their man and the last Massachusetts politician whose initials were J.F.K. However, listening to Kerry's announcement of his candidacy, I thought he sounded more like another president, with the letter "W" rather than "F" in the middle of his initials.

Kerry's salient points included...

This is no ordinary campaign because this is no ordinary time. We have lived through the most deadly attack on our people in American history, the greatest job loss since the Great Depression and the greatest loss of wealth and of savings ever recorded. But every time that our country has faced great challenges, we have come through and we have come out stronger because courageous Americans have done what is right for America. This is the time for the same kind of courage.

Three years ago, in George W. Bush's speech accepting his party's nomination, he said:

My father was the last president of a great generation. A generation of Americans who stormed beaches, liberated concentration camps and delivered us from evil. Some never came home. Those who did put their medals in drawers, went to work, and built on a heroic scale ... highways and universities, suburbs and factories, great cities and grand alliances -- the strong foundations of an American Century. Now the question comes to the sons and daughters of this achievement... What is asked of us? This is a remarkable moment in the life of our nation. Never has the promise of prosperity been so vivid. But times of plenty, like times of crisis, are tests of American character.

I am running so that we can keep America's promise to reward the hard work of middle-class Americans and pull down the barriers that stand in the way of those who are struggling to join them, to restore our true strength in the world which comes from ideals, not arrogance, to renew the commitment of our generation to pass this planet on to our children better than it was given to us. I reject George Bush's radical new vision of a government that comforts the comfortable at the expense of ordinary Americans.

And we will extend the promise of prosperity to every forgotten corner of this country. To every man and woman, a chance to succeed. To every child, a chance to learn. To every family, a chance to live with dignity and hope. For eight years, the Clinton/Gore administration has coasted through prosperity. And the path of least resistance is always downhill. But America's way is the rising road.

But if I am president of the United States, our beloved country will never go to war because we want to, we will go to war because we have to.

When America uses force in the world, the cause must be just, the goal must be clear, and the victory must be overwhelming.

Pride is no substitute for protecting our young men and women in uniform. Half the names on the Vietnam Memorial are there because of pride, because of a president who refused to admit we were on the wrong road, that we might be wrong. Pride is no excuse for making enemies overseas. It is time to return to the United Nations, not with the arrogance of Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz, but with genuine respect

A generation shaped by Vietnam must remember the lessons of Vietnam.

I don't want America to turn its back on half a century of effort by every president to reduce the nuclear threat. I'm running to put America where we rightfully belong, leading the way to a new international accord on nuclear proliferation and make the world itself safer for human survival.

I will work to reduce nuclear weapons and nuclear tension in the world -- to turn these years of influence into decades of peace.

Kerry goes on to advocate being strong in the fight against terrorism, reducing Middle East oil dependence, protecting the environment, tax cuts for the middle class, simplifying the tax code, improving education in underperforming schools, fixing the health care crisis (though he does advocate a national health care plan, which Bush disagrees with), upholding the Second Amendment, and a national call to service. All of these are basic Bush positions, some nuanced differently, others (parts of the tax cut, the call to service) carbon-copied.

A few Kerry positions, notably national health care, judicial nominees and a woman's right to infanticide, are truly different than Bush's. But in general, Kerry promises more of the same, colored with a better grasp of English grammar and a weaker command of the principles of public speaking (it was painful to listen to - every sentance had the same cadence and exagerated emphases).

Summation of Kerry candidacy: he wants to be President in a bad way, but he just can't think of anything that Bush is doing wrong. Unless we really believe that he can do what Bush is doing - just 'better' - we haven't got a reason to vote for him.

Pats cut Lawyer Milloy

Apparently for salary cap relief... It's hard to believe the Patriots are really going for it when they release a pro-bowler and team captain six days before the season starts.

Anti-Semitic?

Many would consider the following statements clearly anti-Semitic:

It turns out that the 2,000-year struggle for Jewish survival comes down to a state of settlements, run by an amoral clique of corrupt lawbreakers who are deaf both to their citizens and to their enemies... Israel, having ceased to care about the children of the Palestinians, should not be surprised when they come washed in hatred and blow themselves up in the centers of Israeli escapism... Do you want the greater Land of Israel? No problem. Abandon democracy. Let's institute an efficient system of racial separation here, with prison camps and detention villages. Qalqilya Ghetto and Gulag Jenin.

Yet this was not written by an invective Palestinian, nor a neo-anti-semitic European, nor even a slightly verschnikkered Brookline liberal. Avraham Burg was speaker of Israel's Knesset from 1999 to 2003 and is a former chairman of the Jewish Agency for Israel. He is currently a Labor Party Knesset member. This essay is adapted by the author from an article that appeared in Yediot Aharonot.

Now, the entire article isn't as strongly worded as the parts I snipped out. I agree with the Revered Al, who referred me to Burg's article, that "it's power more than survives translation. Sometimes crisis and misery give birth to an awful clarity of vision."

The opposition does not exist, and the coalition, with Arik Sharon at its head, claims the right to remain silent. In a nation of chatterboxes, everyone has suddenly fallen dumb, because there's nothing left to say. We live in a thunderously failed reality. Yes, we have revived the Hebrew language, created a marvelous theater and a strong national currency. Our Jewish minds are as sharp as ever. We are traded on the Nasdaq. But is this why we created a state? The Jewish people did not survive for two millennia in order to pioneer new weaponry, computer security programs or anti-missile missiles. We were supposed to be a light unto the nations. In this we have failed. It turns out that the 2,000-year struggle for Jewish survival comes down to a state of settlements, run by an amoral clique of corrupt lawbreakers who are deaf both to their citizens and to their enemies. A state lacking justice cannot survive. More and more Israelis are coming to understand this as they ask their children where they expect to live in 25 years. Children who are honest admit, to their parents' shock, that they do not know. The countdown to the end of Israeli society has begun... We have grown accustomed to ignoring the suffering of the women at the roadblocks. No wonder we don't hear the cries of the abused woman living next door or the single mother struggling to support her children in dignity. We don't even bother to count the women murdered by their husbands. Israel, having ceased to care about the children of the Palestinians, should not be surprised when they come washed in hatred and blow themselves up in the centers of Israeli escapism. They consign themselves to Allah in our places of recreation, because their own lives are torture. They spill their own blood in our restaurants in order to ruin our appetites, because they have children and parents at home who are hungry and humiliated.

Burg's writing grabs ahold of the reader's gut as it mercilessly drives past all obfuscation to the question of the existence of Israel. Israel represents a nation, a dream betrayed. The dream was for a democratic, Jewish state in the historical land of Israel. Somewhere, somehow that dream was subverted to security, and prescient men like Abraham Burg have realized how far from the dream they have led the nation.